Uncle Emmet?
by 06shart
Summary: Emmett is left babysitting Renesemee/ Nessie. Of course hilarity happens. Lots of awkward questions that leave Emmett in a lot of trouble. Hey what can you say baby sitting a 6 year old is hard work. Even for a vampire! R&R please! xoxo
1. Chapter 1

**Emmet is babysitting Nessie and of course hilarity ensures. Please Read and Review R&R xxx:)**

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I woke up to see a note on my bedside. I reached for it and quickly read it. Great they had gone hunting and Jake was out of town for a week. I wondered who was baby sitting me though. It wasn't Grandad or Grandma they were both at work. I listened to the sounds around my house. I heard nothing until my door to my room burst open. 'Come on sleepy head. It's morning, mommy and daddy have gone to hunt' Emmet yelled. Great it was Uncle Emmet!

I let him pick me up and I told him about my dreams. He kept laughing so I hit his head and conjured up a picture of Auntie Rose. He immediately stopped laughing, 'how did a 6 year old child know my weakness?' he questioned. I just giggled as he sat me down. 'Now what do you want? Toast? Cereal? Cook breakfast?' he asked. I nearly threw up. If it was one thing my Uncle Emmet couldn't do is cook a breakfast. 'I only like grandma's cooked breakfast so I'll have cereal' I told him.

'My cooking isn't that bad' he retorted. I shook my head as I got out a spoon. 'Uncle Emmet you burnt microwave chips' I replied seriously. He shrugged and watched me eat. It wasn't uncomfortable just annoying. Ever since I was born my family would watch me eat. I knew why they had long ago forgotten what it was like to eat. I wished I could share my experience with them.

After breakfast I got dressed and read one of the many books. 'Come on Nessie let's play' Emmey suggested bringing me down to the living room. I nodded and smirked 'truth or dare' I demanded. I saw him wince and then quickly nod. 'Okay' he agreed sitting down opposite me. I knew my family would be back in a while so this would be fun. 'Truth or dare?' I asked him. 'Truth' he replied, I smiled evilly.

'How do you make babies?' I asked him. He stared at me in shock for a second before gulping. 'Er well you see it's when a man and a woman loves each other very much. Babies comes from erm when a woman gives a man a cake and he eats it' he told me hopelessly. I smiled 'thanks Uncle Emmet' I said before running off to greet mummy and daddy.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is the reaction after everyone comes back from hunting/work R&R xxx**

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I was sitting at the table watching as mommy was teasing daddy. 'Come on Eddie don't be scared. It's only a little bit of cake, can't you handle a little ickle bit of cake?' she asked. I giggled and daddy put a hand over my mouse. 'Shh Nessie' he murmured. 'Yeah come on Eddie, don't be a big girl's blouse' Uncle Jasper said sitting on the counter.

'What's one of those?' I asked curiously. They laughed 'it's your daddy' Auntie Alice replied. I nodded 'oh okay then' I shrugged. Daddy glared at her before finally sighing. 'Carlisle you at least will help me' daddy begged. We all looked to Grandad and he smiled. 'Grandad can I have a drink please?' I asked and he got me one at a humans pace. 'I guess you can safely say Edward that dad is firmly on our side' Emmett smirked.

Daddy straightened up and took the cake off mommy and ate it. A look of disgust on his face. Everyone bursted out laughing. 'Oh Daddy are you having more babies with mommy' I asked the laughing room. They all froze looking at me. 'What?' Daddy asked me softly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Uncle Emmett move to the door. 'Well Uncle Emmett said when a woman gives a man a cake and they eat it, well that's how you make babies' I told him.

They all turned to Emmett and he winced. 'Emmett you have been telling my daughter where babies come from' I heard Mommy hiss. 'No she asked me! What was I supposed to say? It was scary I didn't know what to say' he mumbled quickly hiding behind Grandma. 'Anything else?' Mommy asked me as Daddy glared at Emmett. 'Yeah he said he was going to cook breakfast' I sobbed into her shoulder. They all laughed and everything became more relaxed.

'Come on love let's go and see if there's anything on telly' Daddy said as Mommy passed me to him. I curled up into his arms fighting the sleep that was threatening to over come. 'Okay daddy' I replied before sitting up. 'But can you cook my tea Grandma please Grandma?' I pleaded and she smiled. 'Of course darling' and after that I fell asleep in Daddy's arm until tea time.

'I swear she planned it all out' I heard Uncle Emmet muttered in the dinning room. 'Emmet dear you're being silly' I heard Grandma rebuke him. I giggled as Daddy smiled. 'Where's Mommy?' I asked and he smiled. 'She just went with Grandad. Apparently there's a patient that he needs help with, he needs someone with serious control, like mommy' he explained. I nodded it was no hidden thought that daddy had an idea that Bella had brought her self control from her other life.

'I miss Mommy' I sighed as he sat me down. 'I miss Mommy too' he replied softly kissing my forehead. 'Yeah Uncle Emmett you're being silly' I said. Everyone snickered and Uncle Emmett sent them disapproving looks. 'Mommy's girl' he muttered. Daddy hissed at him and I ate my dinner. 'It's better than being a wife boy' I retorted. Emmett huffed and shook his head 'Emmett shut up' Auntie Rose ordered. He nodded and did just that.


	3. Dancing

**Sorry about the long wait. I've been really busy with exams, DOE and some going out time. It's been exhausting. Hope you enjoy it :)**

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It had been two weeks after that incident. Emmett was babysitting me again. 'Lets get this straight. You are not going to trick me this time okay' he instructed and I nodded. I lay down on the couch reading and I heard Uncle Emmett sigh and turn on the TV.

I was bored, I had finished the book ages ago. I wanted to do something instead of just lying around. 'Can you teach me how to do ballet?' I asked Uncle Emmett. He stared at me in shock and shook his head. 'No way man' he replied. I started to cry and let it build so they heaved my body.

'Alright I'll do it now go and put on a tutu or something' he sighed and I smiled and ran off. I picked up my hot pink tutu and gave my baby pink one to Uncle Emmett. I saw him clench his jaw. 'Okay whatever happens this does not leave this house understand' he threatened and I nodded.

'Okay you point your toes like this and then you do a graceful spin around' Uncle Emmett told me. I pointed my toes and then spun around fast. 'Are you sure you haven't learnt this before?' he asked. I shook my head and he sighed.

'Fine copy me 123, 123' he chanted and I did a couple of moves. 'How do you jump and twirl Uncle Emmett?' I asked curiously. He shrugged and I bounded towards him. 'Please Uncle Emmett show me how' I whined and he nodded. 'Okay ready' and he jumped and twirled just as Mommy and Grandad walked through.

They stared at him and he stared back at them. 'I can explain' he mumbled. I was sure if he wasn't a vampire he'd be blushing. 'Son is there anything you'd like to tell me' Grandad said. Mommy picked me up and looked curiously at Uncle Emmett. I could see Uncle Emmett was going to explode.

'No I love my wife and her sexy body. I am purely testosterone. Really' he protested. 'The lady doth protest' I told him. He growled and huffed 'shut up' he muttered and I giggled. 'I know you are curious about things son, but all I ask is to not participate it in front of Reneesme' Grandpa said. I looked at Mommy to see she was nearly laughing.

'It's not funny Bella' Emmett said crossing his arms. 'Yes it really is' I heard a giggle, I look up to see Auntie Rose watching us.

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**Guys I nee****d help, I have no idea what to right! Please help would be appreciating**

**Thanks xxx**


	4. Trouble! And Uncle Jasper!

'Uncle Jasper' I cried tugging on my Uncle's shirt. Uncle Jasper looked down at me and smiled and picked me up. 'Uncle Emmett has been upsetting me' I told him, making sure the whole family was in hearing distance. 'Why honey what's he done?' Uncle Jasper asked gently. I started to cry into his shoulder.

'Being nasty to me' I sobbed making sure I felt sad. 'Emmett' Jasper called gently. 'What do you want me to do sweetheart?' he asked me.

I smiled mischievously, now to put the plan into action. 'Can you beat him up for me pwease' I begged. 'You're a shoulder and you know more about fighting from when you was a shoulder' I told him. 'Shoulder sweetie, don't you mean soldier' he asked teasingly. I nodded and he ran out into the yard where Emmett was running.

Uncle Jasper returned a few minutes later venom down his shirt. 'Thanks Esme' he said handing the dirty shirt over. 'Hey squirtal he is just trying to find his leg and arm now' he explained. I nodded and we all settled down to watch a movie. I love family movie night.

I wondered where Emmett was? It was an awfully long time ago, when Uncle Jasper fought him. Suddenly the door burst open and Emmett stepped in.'Bloody Brazil Jasper' Emmett hissed. I tried to hide a giggle. 'Yeah that's right Miss Cullen, just you wait until you are older and your daddy isn't here to protect you' Emmett warned.

I smiled as I heard Daddy growl. 'Oh yes he will, oh and Emmett I think I can see a grey hair' I told him. Everyone laughed and shook their heads. 'Arguing with a 6 year old Emmett' Carlisle reminded when he opened his mouth. Emmett huffed and flopped on the sofa.

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**Sorry it's so short! I couldn't think of anything, so I really need idea for me to keep this one going. Please Help!!!**


	5. Pranks, Paint and Pink!

**Thanks for the ideas guys and I want to say a **_**BIG special thanks to MelisandeShahrizai for offering to write my 'Trip To Avalon' in Italian! :) Any more ideas are welcome!**_

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Anyone would have thought, that after everything, they wouldn't leave me alone with Uncle Emmett. How wrong you would be! Again Uncle Emmett pulled me from my slumber. 'They went off on a hunting trip' he told me as I went to get breakfast. 'Why didn't you go Uncle Emmett?' I asked. I looked into his eyes to see they were golden and nodded.

'I have a plan' he announced. OMC NO!!! I looked around for anybody, and thankfully Grandad walked down the stairs. I rushed over to him and he picked me up. 'Hey sweetheart' he greeted, oh no he was dressed for work. 'Please don't leave him with me Grandad, please take me with you' I begged. He glanced warily at Uncle Emmett. 'You'll be fine sweetie' he assured I wasn't convinced! 'Emmett if this house is in a state of disrepair, your mother won't be pleased' he warned before leaving for work.

Traitor! The whole lot of them! 'Okay you go and get some glue' Uncle Emmett instructed. I sighed was there any point in arguing with him. The correct answer: probably not.

I walked into the basement and saw all the cars. Well except Uncle Emmett's and Granddad's. Uncle Emmett grabbed the tin and smiled. 'Super strong adhesive' he read smiling. Perfect no doubt for his plan. 'Now when I lift the cars up you put glue where the tyres are' he ordered, and I nodded.

We had finished and was now sticking all the doors and windows in place. Mommy and Daddy was going to be really angry. Oh no Auntie Rose will do her nut in. I prayed to any god that would listen that Auntie Rose knew it was Emmett.

Suddenly Uncle Emmett started to bounce around the garage, please god no! I sighed and looked up to him. 'We're going to get Uncle Jasper back, and you little niece will help' he smiled. I nodded as he got a tin of pink dye. I smiled this was going to be fun.

After we had finished with Uncle Jasper, I looked into the garden. Grandma's pride and joy, I glanced at Uncle Emmett. He shook his head 'no it's not worth it' he replied. I knew what he meant, nobody wanted to get on the wrong side of Grandma.

'Uncle Emmett I'm hungry' I whined as we sat in the kitchen. He looked through the cupboards and found a chocolate cake. I grinned and he cut a slice off. 'There eat up, then we can prank Aunty Alice' he told me. I nodded and then Uncle Emmett's phone started to ring. 'Think about it dear brother and you will be dead' she threatened. I giggled 'and stop converting Renesemee into you, she's only a child' she told him.

'Okay here's the deal, these people are out of bounds, Grandad, Grandma and Aunty Alice' he informed me. I nodded 'so how about your mommy and daddy?' he asked. I shook my head frowning and then showed him a picture of a very cross mommy. I saw him wince and smiled. 'Get the green paint' he ordered and I smiled running off.

'Oh no Uncle Emmett' I cried seeing Daddy's piano. It was splattered my green luminous paint. Daddy is going to flip. 'It'll be easier to see in the dark' he told me. Strangely enough I wasn't comforted! 'Fine if you want to be killed by Daddy but I'm not helping you' I huffed. He sighed and we sat down, they'll be here any minute.

'Hello we're back' I heard them call at the door. Good they haven't gone to the garage yet. 'Mummy Daddy' I yelled running to them. 'Hello my baby' Mommy cooed kissing my forehead. 'We're home' Grandma greeted as she and Grandpa walked in.

'Who's up for playing bowling?' Auntie Alice asked. We all agreed and went to get changed. I waited for it as mommy got me changed. 'Okay sweetie you're ready go and play' she told me. So I did opting to running around the halls. 'EMMETT!' I heard Uncle Jasper roar. He ran past me to Uncle Emmett's room. Everyone gathered in the room me following them.

'Why are all my clothes pink?' he hissed. I giggled Uncle Jasper was wearing baby pink trousers with pink socks, he carried his shirt in his hands. It was of course pink. 'It was Renesemee she told me to' he said. My mouth hung open, the traitor.

Fine if that was the way he wanted to play, we would play. I tugged on Uncle Jasper's arm making sure to feel upset. 'I didn't do it, it was Uncle Emmett not me' I cried. 'I know sweetheart' he soothed before turning to Uncle Emmett, 'next time it won't be bloody Brazil' snarled Jasper. Mommy hit him on the head for that. 'No swearing in front of my daughter' she told him. 'I'm sure you can borrow some of my clothes' Daddy told him.

When we was ready after the little mishap, we went to the garage. Oh no this is going to be entertaining. Mommy had me in her arms as everyone tried to open their doors. They tugged and they all came off from their strengths. 'Emmett Cullen you better get your bum moving before I make it into a plate!' Rose . He nodded and ran off into the forest. 'My beautiful car' daddy sobbed shaking his head.

'Why don't you play some music for us dear?' Grandma soothed. He nodded and Mommy passed me over to Daddy. 'Don't try driving it Daddy the wheels are glued as well' I told him. Everyone growled and shouted at Emmett who was still in the forest.

If you was walking past the house now, all you would hear is a very angry Daddy shouting 'EMMETT!'


	6. Kissing

**Sorry really short but I can't think of anything. I am suffering writer's block on this story.**

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I was wondering round the house, daddy was playing the piano, mommy was shopping with Grandma and Auntie Alice. Grandad was at work and Uncle Jasper was at the library. God knows where Uncle Emmett and Auntie Rose is. I decided to look for them, they was probably the only ones that was in the house, apart from me and Daddy.

I looked all around the house and then went to their room. 'Uncle Emmett Auntie Rose, I'm bored' I said opening their door. They was lying on the bed with Auntie Rose in Uncle Emmett's lap, kissing. 'Nessie' they cried as they jumped away from each other. 'What was you doing?' I asked and if they could blush they would have.

'We was just checking for erm bits of meat?' Auntie Rose stuttered out. I frowned at her 'but we don't eat the meat, we drink their blood' I said. They nodded biting their lips. 'I'm going to ask Daddy' I called skipping out the door.

'NO' Emmett yelled grabbing me and pulling me back. 'Sweetie let's just forget about this hey' he smiled. 'I don't want to think about what Eddiekins will do to us when he knows we've educated his daughter on kissing' Emmett sighed. 'Me neither' Auntie Rose replied taking my hand.

'So can I go round kissing like that if they have something in their teeth?' I asked curiously. 'No Nessie, it's only adults that are allowed to do that' she breathed panicking. 'But what if it looks really nasty?' I whined. They frowned quickly glancing at each other.

'It's only hot people who are allowed to do it. So even if they do, they can't look nasty' Uncle Emmett said flicking his hand. That was odd, I really think he needs to come out the closet eventually. 'Erm okay then see ya' I said. I heard the shouts of 'EMMETT' before laughter. What was they doing in there?


	7. Sorry please don't kill me :

**Guys I'm going to be on holiday next Saturday *8th for 2 weeks so unless new idea are told to me. I can't update, and I really want to but I have no ideas. If you want to see stuff in my story just tell me. Open to any suggestions! :)**

**Sorry I hate these notes too, but I need ideas so :D**


	8. Food Poisoning

'Emmett look after my daughter for ONE hour okay!' Mommy ordered Uncle Emmett. 'She'll be fine Bella I promise' Uncle Emmett said, hand resting on his dead heart. Mommy raised her eyebrow at him, 'yeah right Emmett' she scoffed. Uncle Emmett tried to look hurt, his face all screwed up. It looked like he was constipated never mind hurt. 'Emmett the last time I heard that, you broke Esme's favourite vase. Carlisle's baseball stand and Jake's foot' she said shaking her head. My poor Jake!

Then Uncle Emmett said something it was very low. 'It was Edward's fault, he decided to have a play fight' he told her. I shook my head in pity for him. He really needed better excuses. 'Just watch her and no more tricks this time Emmett. I don't think Edward will be able to stand you ruining his piano or car again' she sighed picking me up. 'Good I'll ruin his CDs' Emmett joked. Mommy growled kissing my forehead.

Here we go with the precautions. 'My number is by the phone. Jake is hunting near by, do not let Uncle Emmett rope you into anything' she instructed. 'Yes Mommy' I sighed sadly. I really didn't want her to go shopping with Auntie Alice. She put me down and walked past Emmett who was holding the door open for her. 'Be good' she warned him. I giggled flicking the TV on, Mommy warned him and not me.

'Hey Nessie' Uncle Emmett greeted sitting down beside me. I put on Barbie and he watched it with me. I swear he enjoyed it just as much I did. Secretly more! Suddenly through the midst of it my stomach rumbled. 'I'll do you something to eat Nessie don't worry' he assured patting my head. I was so hungry I didn't care if he cooked or not.

He put down some spaghetti and I sniffed at it. It smelt all right so I dug in, not missing one tiny crumb or piece of pasta. 'Hungry much?' Uncle Emmett teased. I nodded rubbing my belly, that was nice. Really filled me up which was surprising enough with Uncle Emmett's cooking. 'I'm tired Uncle Emmett' I whined my eyelids drooping.

'Hey baby' Daddy cooed as I opened my eyes. I was in my bedroom in the cottage. Jake was sitting by him, I reached for him feeling very cold. 'Daddy I don't feel well' I sighed laying my head on Jake's chest. 'What's the matter Nessie?' Jake asked stroking my hair. 'I feel sick' I sobbed clinging onto Jake. 'You are also very hot' Jake said passing me over to Daddy. 'Daddy' I cried burying my face in his neck.

I felt myself being run with, I tried to still my stomach which threatened to throw up all the food I had eaten. I pressed my hand to his cheek and showed him me throwing up. He nodded and let me throw up standing up. 'Come on baby let's take you to get checked over' Daddy soothed stroking my head.

As we ran through the trees, I noticed we was going in a different direction. 'House Daddy?' I asked and he shook his head. 'Hospital sweetheart' he whispered kissing my burniing forehead. I nodded snuggling back in his arms. My Daddy was always comfortable to snuggle into.

I knew we was in the hospital as Daddy had slowed down into a walk. I heard the noise that everyone was making. 'Tell them to stop Daddy' I begged, my head was hurting. 'Sshh I know honey it'll be alright' he promised trying to cover my ears. I sighed they was being very loud, and my belly hurt. 'Has it just started hurting?' Daddy asked and I nodded.

We was walking to the front desk, well Daddy was. A young lady sat in front of it, filing away some papers. 'Hello can you tell me where I can find Dr. Cullen?' Daddy asked smiling slightly. Daddy stop dazzling that woman, I yelled in my mind. His lips twitched a cm upward. 'You are?' she asked batting her eyelashes. 'Edward Cullen, his son' Daddy told her.

Why couldn't that woman get Grandad to come? 'Well in that case I'll just page him' she smiled getting up and swaying her hips. Hey my Daddy has Mommy lady. 'Yes darling and I love Mommy very much' he whispered kissing my head. 'I'm afraid Dr. Cullen is with a patient at the moment' she mumbled. I'm sure she was glad about that.

'I've finished with that patient Sally' I heard a voice say behind me. I turned and reached for Grandad, 'hey sweetie' he greeted feeling my head. 'Feel ill' I told him wrapping my arms around his neck. 'Can you check her over Carlisle?' Daddy asked. 'Of course, Sally don't disturb me unless it's an emergency' he instructed leading the way into his office.

'Come on sweet pie sit on there' he ordered sitting me on the bed. I showed him me being sick and he rushed to get me a bowl. After I throwed up I started to cry. I didn't like being ill! 'Okay Nessie your temperature is high, your pulse and breathing rate is a bit layered' he told Daddy really. He nodded they both knew without even touching me so! 'I'm just going to take a look at your blood pressure' he informed me. I nodded and wanted to go back to sleep.

'It's Rotavirus, a form of food poisoning' Grandad told Daddy kissing my forehead. 'Make sure she drinks lots of fluids' he said. I shook my head, I don't want no fluids especially water. I I was going to drink I wanted blood. 'Maybe human blood from the blood bank would help cure her' Grandad whispered quietly to Daddy. 'Maybe Carlisle but we don't want her to get hooked' I heard Daddy say. 'Also just give her these diarrhea tablets' he said passing over something to Daddy.

'I want to stay here and go to sleep' I whined curling up on the bed. 'Can she Carlisle? I don't want to move her if she is in pain' Daddy sighed stroking my forehead. Ah the cold! 'No problem at all, no doubt Bella will be over' Grandad said smiling. Daddy smiled also kissing my head, 'I'll be back with Mommy' he promised. I nodded and fell back to sleep, arm curled tight around my stomach.

When I next woke up Grandad was at his desk opposite a patient. I waited patiently for him to finish talking before going over and sitting in his lap. 'Mrs Mantle have you met my granddaughter? This is Renesemee aka Nessie' Grandad smiled. I smiled at the old woman before putting Granddad's hand to my head. 'I know darling I got you some of your juice' he sighed, handing me a bottle of blood? Yes it was blood my favourite thing.

'Beautiful child' the woman said as I happily drank it. 'Yes a product of two beautiful people' Grandad sighed. 'Anyway just rest for a couple of days and it should be fine' he told her. I was gently picked up and carried to the door. Why did I have to walk the lady out as well?

As soon as the woman was out the door, Mommy stepped in, wrapping me in her arms. I sighed snuggling into my favourite Mommy. 'I'm sorry Doctor she just barged in' Sally said walking in after her. 'It's quite alright, I'm surprised she waited if she was out there long' he teased. Mommy glared at him patting my back. 'Are you running back or driving?' Mommy asked as Sally closed the door. 'Well I drove and broke the car, I need a ride home' she admitted.

'Did you eat anything today?' Mommy asked me. I nodded showing her Uncle Emmett's spaghetti. I felt her anger increase 'not going to kill him' she kept muttering. Grandad glanced at her concerned and she clenched her fist. 'That stupid brother of mine' she hissed.

As soon as I was sat on the couch, Mommy turned to whisper something in Daddy's ear. They both turned and growled at Emmett. 'You cooked for my daughter and gave her food poisoning' Daddy hissed. Uncle Emmett blinked and then crouched down. 'YOU GAVE MY DAUGHTER FOOD POISONING AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL US SHE WAS ILL' Mommy screamed at him. Uncle Jazz sighed and flopped on the couch next to me. I felt the calm waves he was releasing.

'Don't tell me to calm down Alice' Mommy growled. 'You didn't cook the mince properly' Mommy explained smacking her head. 'One day there will be a day, we will not have any arguments in this house' Grandma whispered to me. 'I didn't know I thought you could just use it' Uncle Emmett shouted in defense. 'How have I gotten such a dumb brain for a brother?' Daddy sighed shaking his head.

Uncle Emmett laughed and Mommy slapped him. 'You are not side stepping me that easy' she told him. 'Erm well, I'm sorry Nessie I would never intentionally hurt you' he apoligised. Mommy nodded in approval 'and Emmett we need someone to carry our bags and purse while shopping next time' Mommy smiled evilly.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Uncle Emmett screamed.


	9. Shopping! Cheesy Puffs! And Purses!

**Sorry about the long wait. I really need ideas because I can't think of anything and I have last minute homework to do before I go out and have a life! So I really need ideas!**

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'I like that one' Mommy murmured as Auntie Alice twirled round the shop. Auntie Alice tutted 'it's a shame your fashion taste hasn't improved' she sighed. Auntie Rose and Grandma smiled, I rolled my eyes at them. Mummy really hated shopping. 'Now this one would look beautiful on you Nessie' Auntie Alice exclaimed showing me. I nodded not wanting to interrupt her mid-shopping. It was pink and I had to hold back a sob, I hated pink.

Auntie Alice turned to Uncle Emmett, he was already holding a big pile of clothes. 'Alice is this really necessary, I mean it's pink' he whined. 'Well you should have thought about that son when Bella dished out the punishment' Grandma said raising her perfect eyebrows. 'Yes mom' he sighed and I giggled. 'Shut up Nessie' he mumbled. I giggled harder and Mommy picked me up.

When we made our way towards the till, the guy behind it smiled at Uncle Emmett. 'Hi there is this all your purchases?' he asked smiling cheerily. Well duh they was stocked high full of clothes. Emmett nodded grinning, 'yeah thank you Carl' he replied. I heard the others chuckle and I turned around confused.

Carl had finished packing all the bags it seemed and was just getting the recipt. I saw Auntie Alice whisper something to Mommy, Grandma and Auntie Rose. Not fair I wanted to hear! 'Here you go and my number as well' he smirked handing over a card to him. 'Um thanks I think' Uncle Emmett muttered shaking his head.

'He... he just thought I was gay' he whispered sadly. I nearly felt sorry for him. Nearly. 'Really dear?' Grandma asked uninterested. 'Mom didn't you just hear me?' he asked and she nodded. 'Rosie' Uncle Emmett begged as we walked out the shop. 'Oh Emmett stop being a puff' she sighed. I smiled 'cheesy puff Uncle Emmett' I sang running around.

I ran into the cafe where we were supposed to meet the others. 'Daddy' I cried rushing into him. 'Hello Nessie' he greeted hugging him. 'Guess what Daddy, Uncle Emmett is a puff' I shouted. People started to turn to our table and glance at Uncle Emmett. Meanwhile Daddy and Uncle Jasper roared with laughter. Grandad smiled shaking his head, he really wanted to laugh and I showed it him. 'Sshhh Nessie' he whispered as he tried to quieten his sons.

'Jasper Edward be quiet' he hissed looking round. 'Oh Emmett I'm glad you brought that PINK shirt today' Jasper told him. 'It isn't mine it's Alice's' he grumbled. I giggled as Mommy grabbed me off Daddy's lap. 'Yeah after all your one at home is getting washed out' Alice chimed. Everybody laughed, 'Emmett do you still want to go to Ann Summers' Daddy smiled. What was Ann Summers? 'That's it Eddiekins lets take it outside' Uncle Emmett shouted.

'Boys' Grandad warned but they ignored him. 'I told you never call me Eddiekins' Daddy growled. A little man came up to the table then looking hassled. 'I'm afraid you'll have to leave' he told us. 'Don't worry they are leaving right this very minute, Edward you should know better, setting a bad example to your daughter' Grandma shouted at them. Uncle Jasper smiled relaxing in his chair. 'Don't think you are getting away from this too young man!' Grandpa said. 'Oh come on Dad. Alice sweetie bit of help?' he asked turning to Auntie Alice. 'I think we should go shopping and they have to come with us mom' Rose smiled.

'Alice don't you dare, please Alice don't you dare' Daddy begged going to his knees in front of the whole mall. Alice smiled evil at them all, and they looked worried. 'Alice' Uncle Jasper said warily. 'Alice I'm your brother you love me' Uncle Emmett smiled. Daddy and Uncle Jasper glared at him 'shut up Emmett' Daddy hissed. 'Really now dear brother' she sang and people was watching. 'NO!' Daddy cried and I went to hug him. 'Hold my purse' Mommy, Auntie Rose and Auntie Alice said at the same time. Those 3 humiliating words for any man!

'Bella sweet' Daddy begged as everyone laughed in the mall. 'Edward Cullen hold my purse' Mommy hissed grabbing his shirt. He nodded sadly and took it wincing. We began to do more shopping and Grandma and Grandpa was talking about the performance. Other men was looking sympathetically at them and I frowned. 'My angel do I have to carry these' Uncle Jasper whined kissing her cheek. 'Oh Jazzy of course you do' she laughed bouncing off with Mommy in tow. 'Rosie' Uncle Emmett cooed. Auntie Rose gave him a disgusting look 'Emmett you have been given your punishment, now straighten up and be a man' she ordered before going off with Mommy and Auntie Alice.

'Daddy shall I hold it?' I asked him tugging on his shirt. Edward smiled and poked his tongue out at the others. 'No Nessie, your Daddy can hold it' Grandma said picking me up. Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett turned and smirked at Daddy. 'Edward for goodness sake, you've fought vampires and you are scared of Bella's purse' Grandpa sighed. Daddy nodded 'it's all your fault Emmett' Daddy told him. 'Don't start on me and how the hell is it my fault?' he asked.

'Here we go again' Grandma sighed shaking her head. 'Well for one you learned my daughter to say you're a puff. Then Alice was just about to change her mind before you opened your big fat gob' Daddy growled. 'If that is true Emmett' Uncle Jasper threatened. 'Daddy what does a puff mean anyway?' I asked him. Daddy gave me a horrified look 'well it's er the well sweetheart it is when 2 boys like each other?' he said making it sound like a question. 'Okay Daddy' I smiled as we watched the others shop. Phew all this was hard work! I need to sleep.


End file.
